Bubble Wrap

June 23, 2007

I was bored today so I wrapped the dog in bubble wrap.

Kick ass.

Topics: Things I Did, Useless Information | 1 Comment »

How to Lock a Door

June 9, 2007

I was trying to watch TV today when Jenn came home and started talking on the phone with her sister. Typically a conversation between the two of them is nothing more than a competition to see who can talk the loudest. So before it got any worse I asked her to go in the other room, which she did. About three minutes later she was back in the living room yelling at her sister, disturbing my solitude. As the chatter continued I came up with a plan and executed it immediately.
Step 1) Pause the TV.
Step 2) Gather supplies: a Quick Clamp and two leashes.
Step 3) Relocate the noise back into the other room.
Step 4) Apply the supplies to contain the noise.

About an hour and a half later (once the call was over I assume) I got a call from Jenn. She explained to me that she was in the other room, the door was stuck, and she couldn’t get out. =D

Topics: Crap I Built, Things I Did | 1 Comment »

Last Day

May 25, 2007

Today was my last day at work. During my exit interview I was accused of stealing company property and being on drugs. When I asked what kind of reference I could expect they said none, and on my way out they didn’t let me take any of my things. They said they would mail everything to me, It’s clear to me now that I should have called the cops.

I offer the following advice to those of you who still work there:

get out before the evil retarded logo monster gets you.

Topics: Other Crap, Things I Did | 1 Comment »

Sold my Car

May 22, 2007

Ever since we bought the Aveo, Ive been trying to sell the Saturn. I had it posted on CraigsList and CarSoup for two months with no inquiries, I even made a web page with tons of pictures and information to help sell it.

Nothing was working. Then I listed it on autotrader and sold it the next day, amazing. I paid $4000 for the Saturn when I bought it two and a half years ago, sold it today for $2800.

Shortly after I sold my car, Mike spilled cheese fries in his car in the space between the seat and the door, what a dumbass.

Topics: Items I Bought, Stuff I Saw | No Comments »

International Super-Thief

April 15, 2007

I was at home the other day trying to watch one of my favorite tv shows but I keep getting interrupted by the slamming of my neighbors door. Frustrated because I couldn’t hear what Cartman was saying, I grabbed my shoes (to throw at the noisy bastards) and opened my door. my neighbors were half way down the stairs with their couch, so I spared them a shoe pummeling and asked what they were doing. Turns out they were moving. A few days after they were gone I realized their apartment was open so I went in. I started looking around and noticed that the fridge was like twenty years newer than the one in my apartment. The next day I was back with a dolly and five minutes later I had a new fridge.

After I had moved the old fridge to the other apartment I went to put the dolly in my truck but I got sidetracked by the note on my neighbors cars gas door.

so I stole all their gas, and went to bed
what an awesome day.

Topics: Stuff I Saw, Things I Did | 1 Comment »

Kansas City Misery

March 25, 2007

When we moved to St. Cloud ten months ago, I traded Jenns Cavalier for an S10 and she started driving the Saturn. When I bought the Saturn two and a half years ago, it had 70,000 miles on it and ran like a new. Now it has 120,000 miles and runs like crap, so I figured it was time for a different car. After a couple of weeks searching, I found a great deal on the car we wanted in Kansas City, Missouri. We got ready Thursday night and left Friday after Jenn got off work. It took nine hours to get there but it was so boring that it felt like an eternity. I assumed Iowa and Missouri would be boring (which they were), but I expected more from Southern Minnesota. It sucked so much that I almost drove into the ditch just so something exciting would happen. Southern Minnesota is making Northern Minnesota look bad with how much it sucks. I propose that southern Minnesota become its own lame state.

North Iowa can have everything south of Saint Cloud, including the Twin Cities.

Anyway.

We didn’t get into KC until 2 in the morning, so we got a hotel and went to the dealership that morning. I couldn’t find anything wrong with the car after test driving it so we bought it (2004 Chevy Aveo 5 w/ 27,000 miles)

Once we got about two miles away from the dealership I turned on the radio but instead of music, I got prompted for a four digit unlock code. Unbelievable. I didn’t think to see if the radio was locked during the test drive. So I started in on it, 1111… 1112… 1113… 1114 and so on. Two hours later, I typed in 5241 which unlocked the stupid radio.

now all I have to do is find somebody to buy the Saturn.

Topics: Items I Bought, Places I Went | 3 Comments »

Site Redesign

March 17, 2007

I just completed the third major revision of my website. I was feeling kind of bad about not plagiarizing any content from yahoo or google like I usually do:

so I stole five or six movies off the internet to make up for it and now I don’t feel so bad.

Topics: Useless Information | No Comments »

Igloo

February 27, 2007

I went to Deer River this weekend to visit the family and while I was there it snowed. All the snow prevented me from going to the cabin. so instead of driving around, my brother and I built an igloo.

That was my weekend. Now I have to go do my taxes.

Topics: Crap I Built, Places I Went | 2 Comments »

Pimped

February 2, 2007

There’s this guy at work with an ultra runny nose, he’s always getting boogers on everything so the company had to give him is own personal Kleenex box. Well, I was bored the other day and his Kleenex box was looking particularly lame, so I tricked it out .

Thats right, you can make just about anything with two hours and a roll of masking tape.

Topics: Crap I Built | No Comments »

Dog Fortress

January 23, 2007

It was the company Christmas party last weekend, the guy who was going to watch our dog bailed so I had to come up with a way to contain the dog for 24 hours. I happened to have a ton of cardboard so I built a hallway from the kitchen to the chair in the living room (so he could look out the window).

Here is part of the cardboard hallway that leads to the chair jail

The party was pretty cool, there was an open bar until midnight and they took everyone’s picture, here’s mine.

Actually its a bobble head.

Topics: Crap I Built, Places I Went, Things I Did | 2 Comments »

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